Bisexual

Once my sister asked me why I indicated that I was bi in my Facebook account and I had to think very hard before I could answer her, especially cause my last relationship was with a guy.

Ok the reason is: If someone was interested in me and I was interested in her I wouldn’t turn her away just because she was a girl.
I think that is the most relaxed interpretation of being bisexual I have come across… so real bisexual people come throw rocks at me now lol

But it’s getting harder and harder to find girls that are loveable.
Normal loveable yes, but it’s hard to find especially attractive and strong (we’re talking personality here) ones.
On the other hand, I have also come across some guys who are not loveable at all.

In my opinion, personality and compatibility is more important in a relationship than superficial things like gender, age etc. and that’s why I put my status as bisexual.

Yeah so that’s it.

No more puddles

Had my first trail ride today and I am exhausted. Every time I saw a puddle, I crashed. There were 20 puddles along the way. Yay.

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Somehow I feel that I would love to have a partner who would ride with me. Not just a partner who loves bikes (I’ve had that before), but a partner who is similar to me in objectives, skill level (or better but willing to wait up) and motivation.

I don’t want to be a trophy girl for a racer, cheering at the tracks etc. I mean that would be cool, but you’d probably forever be amusing yourself reading magazines while your partner does great things and you can’t join in cause your skill level isn’t good enough for the terrain =_=”‘. And you’d forever be shut out of your partner’s fun activities cause you can’t keep up and didn’t have the time or opportunities to build up your skill.

It’s better to have someone you can actually ride with and have fun together.

If I hadn’t broken up with KTM I wouldn’t have struck out on my own and become more independent instead of just sitting around passively.
Now I don’t have a partner but I do have some new riding buddies to ride with. They are willing to wait up for me and help me as and when needed. And that makes me happy 😀

Sad things

To me, one of the saddest things I can think of is a woman whose boyfriend is treating her badly and yet she can’t leave him cause she loves him too much.

Another is a woman begging her boyfriend not to leave her or trying to do lots and lots of small things to convince him to stay even though he obviously doesn’t care shit about her.

Love makes people into victims.
I try my best to make sure I am not one of them.

It’s the responsible thing to do.

Lately I’ve been caught in a vicious cycle. When it’s hot and sunny, I have a major headache and don’t feel like doing anything. When it’s not hot and sunny, it’s raining, I feel much better and I still can’t go do the things I’m supposed to do (do my bike, pay library fines etc).

I realised I still have something I need to do.
I need to break up with somebody.
But how do you break up with someone in an amiable manner if it’s impossible to meet up?
(Disappearing or breaking up via sms isn’t too classy, is it?)

I have no regrets.

Some things didn’t turn out well but I don’t regret allowing them to happen.

Cause without them, I wouldn’t have grown so much as a person.
And now, I have a better idea and a more realistic view of what I want.
If it’s your first, no need to be so choosy about the perfect one.
No need to be so worried about doing everything right.

After all, everyone learns to ride on a training bike before committing to their own dear dear 🙂 And even then your dear dear will probably not be your last.
So just go out, love, get hurt, in the end it’s all okay.
Just don’t do anything that you can’t get out of easily… Or more like before you do something like that, check that it’s really okay first 😉

But one thing that is really bothering me is: How should I tell him?

Taking a break from coding to blog.

Sometimes I wish he won’t call.
Sometimes I wish that he’s sick of me too.
That would save me the trouble of explaining.